A Very Brady Runner

June 16, 2011

I ran five miles this morning!!!!....then I woke up.  F@&%ing alarm!!

So, what I could not quite accomplish last week…I have this week!  5 / 1 x 5 = HAPPY!!!

And I have done it three times! Still huffin and puffin, the benefit of the handfuls

of spinach I am eating will take a little while to kick in, but I feel I am making progress!  And the endorphins afterwards!!!  Wow wee! They should sell this stuff…well, I guess they do...but it’s a felony if you’re caught buying it…I’ll just run, keep it legal.

I have been doing a lot of reading about running; how much I should be running, how I should be running, when I should be running...Everyone has an opinion! I especially love the article a male, who calls himself an expert on everything running, wrote on the benefits of selecting a good support bra. Really? Well unless you are sporting an impressive set of man boobs Sparky, I’m not buying what you are selling!  Men always think they are mammary experts…And what is this I read about Runner’s Butt!?!  That running builds up your hamstrings and glutes to make the perfect bum!? Sign me up for one of those!  No more calling me Frannie Flat Ass!  I’m even going to get a T-shirt….

One of the reasons I was reading so much about running, was to answer the question about how fast I should be running…3.2 on the treadmill seems like I’m running in slow motion, but 4.5 makes me fear I’m going to fly off the back and hit the wall!  The answer I have found to be most consistent is that I should be able to carry on a conversation…is that with full, coherent sentences??  Another answer I liked best is that you should be able to sing “Happy Birthday” or the theme song to your favorite TV show… I think I’ll work on this.  My favorite TV show theme song is “The Brady Bunch”…but I have changed the lyrics to make it more interesting:

Here’s the story…Of a head strong lady,

Who decided she would go out for a run

She was kinda out of shape, a little heavy

But she would get it done

Till she spent about ten minutes on the treadmill

She realized she was being a little smug

That this goal of running any distance

Was going to require a lot of drugs

Or smaller jugs

and lots of hugs

That’s why now she passed out up on the rug!